Renewals

December 31, 1999 marked the occasion of Lin's 50th birthday and the day that we decided to renew our wedding vows. I'd always been wanting the party of the century - after all, how many people turn 50 on the turn of the century? I'd started planning this when I was 10, and because of a wonderful husband, I was able to make my dreams come true. These are some of our photos that we would like to share with you. But, first - this is the ceremony...

OPENING REMARKS:

Beloved Friends, we come together to joyfully acknowledge the decision of Lin and Pat to recommit their lives in loving matrimony. Let us begin this special time in a special way, by each in our own way, turning within. Lin and Pat, will you close your eyes, turning within, and become aware of the divine presence within you, knowing that as you do so, God’s blessings are being poured out upon you both. And through the presence, and the power, and activity of God, we, your friends and loved ones gathered here, see you blessed with abundance of all good things. This we do affirm, in the name and through the power of the loving presence of God within each of you – AMEN.

EXPLANATION OF THE CHUPPAH:

BOB STROM: Lin and Pat are standing under a chuppah, which represents the beauty and the promise of the home they have created together. Its four sides are open, symbolizing the importance of community and participation in each other’s lives. Their friends’ stand at the wall and corners of their symbolic home - they are the foundation upon which the structure of their lives rests. This chuppah does not promise that love or hope of pledges will keep out weather or problems, but its few lines are a sketch for only what is. The flimsiness of the chuppah is a reminder that the only thing that is real about their home is the people in it who love and choose to be together – to be a family, The only anchor that they have are holding on to each other’s hands. The chuppah is a house of promises; it is the home of hope.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF LOVED ONES:

SUSANNA: There are also those who were close to Lin and Pat who have passed on in spirit but are remembered here tonight. The spirits of their dog-daughter Maggie, Pat’s mom Josephine, Lin’s Dad Leo, Lin’s Grandmother Gertrude, their friends Carm Cavallario, Bob Abbott, Don Petrus and others touched them and helped make them the individuals that they are. Let us remember them now, and remember those whom you have loved and lost, in this moment of silence. (LIN AND PAT LIGHT THE INDIVIDUAL CANDLES AT THE UNITY CANDLE TABLE).

A NOTE FROM MAGGIE:

RICHARD BAKER: Dear Mom and Dad, Sorry I couldn't be here tonight to personally join you in your very special celebration. I've asked Uncle Richard to read my letter of congratulations.

I want you to know that I am happy. I am in a really nice place. I'm not supposed to tell you where I am, but I can tell you that I no longer have allergies that make me itch, and I can eat anything I like. If that isn't heaven, then what is.

Mom and Dad, believe me when I tell you that this is the place to be. There is no pain or sorrow. There is only love and happiness here. No one is ever sick and everyone gets along so well.

I miss you both so very much, but I know that we will all be together some day. Here we learn to be patient...that was something I learned when I got here.

So, until we are reunited, I wish you both a long and happy life, like the one you gave me. Tell Will and Coco I said hi. And remember, I'll be waiting for you..

Love, Maggie

MARRIAGE PRAYER:

LINDA DENING: Please bow your heads… Infinite Spirit, hear our prayer for Lin and Pat and all who have gathered here tonight who will be reunited in their commitment to each other. Give them your blessing and strengthen their love for each other. We ask you this through our God. Lin and Pat have created this ceremony by weaving together the threads of their two traditions, a fabric that represents who they are together. In their lives and in this ceremony, they have sought to concentrate on those aspects of each other’s beliefs that are shared in common and to learn as much as possible about the others’ traditions. Whatever trials and testings may come, may they continue to trust each other wholly. May they continue to understand each other, and as they continue to build their lives together, may their home be a place of laughter, of many friends, and a haven from the tensions of our time and a wellspring of strength, and in the entire world, may it be the one place they most want to be.

So, let us offer the sign of Peace. The Peace of the Holy Spirit be with you always.

(RESPONSE: And also with you).

JIM GROSS: Blessed are you, Oh God, for giving life, sustaining us, and bringing up to this joyous time.(In Hebrew)

SEVEN WEDDING BLESSINGS:

SUSANNA: In the Jewish tradition, brides and grooms are blessed with the seven wedding blessings. The number seven is very powerful in Jewish mysticism. According to the Bible, God created the world in seven days, and marriage is a seven-day a week creation. As a man and woman joined together in love, they make each other feel more complete and whole. For their ceremony, Lin and Pat have chosen very special people to read their blessings – blessings that reflect important values in their lives. The seventh blessing, the blessing over the wine, symbolically sanctifies this day and this recommitment.

PAULA ADAMS: Nature and the environment provide sustenance for our bodies and spirit. Land, air, water, all living creatures and plants bring us great joy. Our pets bring us love and undying friendship. Our appreciation of nature and our love for all God’s creatures reveals an essence of ourselves.

JOHN PILATO: The recognition of differences in each other as well as the recognition of the things we have in common helps us to appreciate the diversity and commonality we find in all humankind. We are challenged to respect each other for those differences. We learn tolerance through our relationship and the understanding of difference makes our lives richer.

CINDY LAWRENCE: We are fortunate to live our lives in peace and freedom and we wish for a world free from suffering and oppression. May the actions we take in our lives contribute to the making of a better world.

LISA L’HUILLIER: We are grateful for the love and support of our parents, families, and friends: love that is expressed in laughter and through tears and support that is founded on trust and respect. We know we do not have to be with our family or friends daily, nor be in constant communication with them to cherish and enjoy that love and respect – it is a commonality of spirit and truth. We wish good health, long life, and much happiness for those we love.

KEN: May you continue to be best friends, better together than either of you are apart.

RICHARD BAKER: May the road rise up to meet you, May the wind always be at your back, May the sun shine warm on your face, May the rain fall freely on your fields, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

BLESSING OVER THE WINE:

JIM GROSS: The blessing over the wine, also known as the Kiddush, is part of many Jewish celebrations and holidays. The word Kiddush means sanctification, so the wedding is symbolically sanctified with this blessing. This cup of wine suggests two thoughts. The first is that wine is a symbol of the continued sweetness of your lives. As you know, there are times when there are other bitter cups, but life offers more opportunities to savor sweetness. The second is that wine is a symbol of sharing (and we know you like to share the wine). You have shared over 9 years together, and out of this time has grown the love that brought you here again today. As you continue to share in each other’s lives, you will, as a symbol of this enduring cooperation, share this cup of wine.

Baruch atah Adonai Elohainu Melech Ha’alom Borei Purei Hagafan
Blessed are thou, Oh Lord Our God, Creator of the Fruit of the Vine.

READING #1:

BONNY KELLER: Since we celebrate two lives with two different traditions, we have two short readings from both the Jewish tradition and the Catholic tradition to reflect upon.

I will betroth you to me forever, I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, Many waters cannot quench love, nor can floods drown it. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. (From Hosea, 2:21-22 and Song of Songs)

Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices at right. Love bears all things, believes in all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians, 13:4-8)

READING #2:

AMY DEMAR: From the Sonnets to the Portuguese, Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s words ring true:

How Do I love thee, Let me Count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the Ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday’s most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with all my childhood’s faith .I love thee with a love I seemed to loose with my lost saints –I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life! And if God chooses, I shall but love thee better after death.

PERSONAL REMARKS BY BOB STROM:
PERSONAL REMARKS BY SUSANNA:

EXCHANGE OF VOWS:

Lin and Pat read these simultaneously to each other:

I give you my love, I give you my heart and I give you my life once again, until we both shall grow old, and our sight shall fall from our eyes, and our being fall from life to light. You are my lover, my friend, my accomplice, and my true counterpart. I will continue to love you, hold you, and honor you, respect you, encourage you and cherish you, in sickness and in health. We are the best of each other, together and apart, and I love you.

RECOMMITMENT OF THE GUESTS:

SUSANNA: As you are aware, Lin and Pat cherish their friends, their extended family. As they have recommitted to each other, we hope you will enter this new and exciting century with a new sense of recommitment to your significant other. As such, Lin and Pat would like to ask those of you who wish to renew their commitment to each other to stand, face each other, and repeat the following to each other together:

Dearest ______, I do now choose you once again to be my partner. I will continue to respect you, honor you, love you and live my life openly with you. As we enter the new century, I promise to be to you a loving partner, now and for the rest of our days.

SUSANNA: Infinite Spirit, Almighty God we acknowledge your presence and your blessing on Lin, Pat and their friends, and we give thanks that your Spirit will be with Lin and Pat and their friends no only on this day, but in all the days to come – as your life, love, peace, wisdom and you – this we affirm, in the name and through the power of your loving presence with each of us. AMEN.

EXCHANGE OF RINGS:

SUSANNA: Lin and Pat, we have witnessed the recommitment of your vows. You have chosen to mark this occasion with the symbol of your love, a new ring that will become the symbol of the promises you have made to each other. These rings are the outward and visible symbols of your inner spiritual bond.

Pat, repeat after me: Lin, I recommit my life and my love with yours and offer myself to you in your loving care. Be reconsecrated to me, my wife, according to ancient customs.

Lin, repeat after me: Pat, I recommit my life and my love with yours and offer myself to you in your loving care. Be reconsecrated to me, my husband, according to ancient customs.

SUSANNA: Please join hands as we pray:

Almighty Father-Mother God, Witness to every true marriage and sealer of every spiritual union, we invoke thy blessing on Lin and Pat. Be with them in all their ways. Grant them a larger understanding to discern the true values of life. Bless them with goodness, and truth, purity and wisdom, fidelity and forbearance, prosperity, peace and harmony. Moreover, sanctify the both of them to thy will and bless them in their love forever. This we affirm and give thanks in the name and through the power of your loving presence – AMEN.

UNITY CANDLE LIGHTING:

SUSANNA: In both the Jewish and Catholic wedding traditions, candlelight symbolizes the commitment of love these two friends have rededicated today. The two smaller candles that you see before you, and that Lin and Pat have lit in memory of their loved ones not here today, also symbolize the light that shines in them as individuals. Now they re-join their lives and their light in one candle, symbolizing that their love has been and always will be one.

The lighting of this single candle represents the bond of spiritual love that will always mark your marriage. Light is the symbol of truth; of that which is good. Light is Diving Intelligence, Divine Life, a good thought, energy made visible or the life force itself. This candle represents God’s Love, Wisdom and Truth that we are able to express in our lives. It is a plain candle because the light of your love will shine most beautifully in your marriage in the plain, simple, everyday things you do with and for each other.

As you leave tonight, I ask you to take this candle with you with this suggestion – each year, on this anniversary of your recommitment to each other, you light this candle. By the very same candlelight that you were recommitted to each other, you will renew your vows of love to each other, to respect and be honest to each other – to stand by each other whatever may come, to make necessary adjustments to genuinely share your life together.

MARSHA FIELDS: “And Ruth said, entreat me not to leave thee, Or to return from following after thee, for whither thou goest I will go,

MICHAEL FIELDS: And where thou lodgest I shall lodge, Thy People shall be My People, and Thy God my God, Where thou diest, I will die, and There will I be buried, the Lord do so to me, and more also, If ought but death part thee and Me.”

PRONOUNCEMENT AND CLOSING PRAYERS:

SUSANNA: Today we rejoice in your happiness, Lin and Pat, and all of you who have chosen to renew your promises to each other. We pray that this day marks only one of the many more blessings you will share in the days, months and years ahead. This ceremony is not over – it is just the beginning. As we enter the 21^st century, we pray that this new sense of renewal and recommitment lives on in our daily lives.

JIM GROSS: IN HEBREW AND ENGLISH: May God Bless you and Keep you, May God’s Countenance shine upon you and be gracious unto you, May God look upon you with favor and grant you peace.

SUSANNA: Tonight we celebrate your lives rejoined in love . . . Before we leave this wonderful night, a traditional task must be performed by Pat. This custom dates back to Talmudic times, and some say it symbolizes the idea of our keeping Jerusalem and Israel in our minds even at times of our joy. Just as the Temple of Jerusalem was destroyed, so we break a utensil to show our identification with the sorrow of Jewish exile. The Talmud states, “If I forget thee O’Jerusalem, let my right had forget its cunning. If I do not raise thee over my own joy, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth.”

Some people say it symbolizes the irrevocable changes in their lives! Some say it has its roots in superstition when people broke glasses to scare away evil spirits. Whatever the interpretation, we should remember that Lin and Pat, while having suffered during their lives, will endure more in the years to come. And, we as their friends have the responsibility to help relieve some of that pain and suffering

We hope you enjoy our photos...

The room where the ceremony took place

Lin - photo #1

Lin and Pat

Lin - photo #2

My gals and me
Bonny Keller, Linda Dening, and Jamie Adams

The Men in Black (and White)
Richard Baker, Bill Keller, Pat and Bill Keller (the cuter one)

My best Gal Pals, Linda and Bonny

Bonny, me and Grenville and Beatrice

My flowers

Our dear friends, the Kellers

Our other dear friends, the Denings